When Someone You Love Dies: Notes for the Living
I never gave a lot of thought to death until my mother died unexpectedly two months ago. Now, I think about it all the time. Until confronted by it ourselves, we tend to ignore death and grief. For something that is all around us, all the time, it seems invisible --- right up until we become the ones blindsided by the news of the death of someone in our intimate circle -- parents, spouses, children, siblings, close friends. My friend Erik said to me, "As the Greeks say, eventually, time and tragedy come for all of us." Truth. I am in the process of writing down some thoughts. Here is a list of things that, in retrospect, I wish I could have articulated to people in the wake of my mom's death about how to help and what they could anticipate from me. There is no order and this list might not help you. But I hope it helps. If you are grieving, I send comfort and love. If you want to help someone who is grieving, I send c...